Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
