What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
