Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
