pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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