Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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