A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize