I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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