Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
