I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
