I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
