What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
