So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
