yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
