im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
BRING THE BAGELS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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