we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
