I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
