My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
