I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
