Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
