Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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