I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
