We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
