i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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