I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
