I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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