Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
