i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
