piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
