So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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