Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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