Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
