I think im going to throw up on grandma
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
