can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
