Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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