On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
