News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
