it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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