idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
