I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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