come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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