I can tuck mytits in my pants
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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