ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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