Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
