He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
