I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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