the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
