so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
