We're like a lot better than the average bears
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
