When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
vagina is talking i cant
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
