Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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