How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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