It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
