Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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