She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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