He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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