Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
