Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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