Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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