How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
