If i come over, it means nothing
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
