just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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